To Those Who Are in Their 30s

Image credit: Pixabay

“She is 30, and who she is?

“17 was the most lively and memorable age”. Those words have lingered in her mind for a while, especially when she is in her 30s.

That’s because she regrets her most youthful days. She hasn’t managed to do what she wanted and dreamed while more pressures have been put on her. About marriage, about work, and about something people call being more stable in your life.

30 years old. That’s when she’s not too old but not young enough to dream about plenty of things. That’s when she wonders from time to time how she can deal with more and more pressures, how about her dreams, and who she is.

Who was she?

During her university, she was confident about herself. She thought she was special. She was good looking. She had good academic results. She had interests and dreams to realize. She also had a great family to be proud of. To gain admiration, she tried her hard to maintain her good image in front of others.

Partly because of societal expectations, she did her best to find a job right after graduation. That way, no one would complain about whether she was jobless. 

It’s not about pressures from what others thought about her when it came to employment. It’s about how she coped with being pressed. She wasn’t strong enough to deal with social prejudices and to find out what she really wanted. 

That time, she was someone who blindly tried to become a proud daughter. She wasted years living to what was expected to her.

When she is in her 30s, she is in a hurry to find herself. Who is she? She starts to regret about precious past days that she wasted. But that’s also when she doesn’t want to stress out over trivial things. She understands:

 How precious life time is. Regrets solve nothing.

 Making trouble. That’s youth.

 The desire to be loved kills her freedom.

 Marriage is not about age but the right time. When she isn’t ready to share responsibilities with her significant other, she finds it’s impossible for her to get married.

 Age is just number. Many women aren’t satisfied with their life when they get married, give birth, give up their dreams to become stay-at-home moms, and do things according to the timeline specified by the majority.

 She is not just clueless about tomorrow but the next one minute. So stop worrying too much, and just live in the moment.

Who is she now?

 She is someone who just woke up from a long dream.

 She is precious to her parents.

 She loves her mom and dad even much more.

 She doesn’t have a boyfriend.

 She has not realized her dreams.

 There are many questions to her daily problems. What should she do? She has a life to deal with these struggles.

It’s her who decides

Now that she has awakened, she decides to be brave to deal with her fears, take care of responsibilities, live up to her dreams, and love herself. Of course, it’s easier said than done. Maybe when she actually does something, she will get fear whether she can do well. Still, once she takes a step forward, all that is left is her will to become the best version of herself.

Handle her fears and take important responsibilities

First, it has to be the marriage pressure. On the one hand, her parents who she loves most want her to find someone who is decent enough and get married quickly as she’s already 30. They can’t sleep because they’re worried about her. Seeing them getting older physically and tired mentally, she is sad.

On the other hand, she isn’t ready to spend the rest of her life with someone she will call husband. She wants to find her true love and marry him. This may take one, two, or even ten years or more. What should she do now? Should she persuade her parents that she’s strong enough to be responsible for her life? That may be the way or not. She has to try to know.

Second, she’s afraid to be alone. That’s why she tries to satisfy and earn love from others. That makes

her look insecure and miserable. And that adds more mental burdens to her woes of life. Why does she have to do so? She has to love herself first if she wants to be loved by others.

Also, she knows it’s her parents who love her conditionally. She hasn’t taken care of them and hugged them enough. As she has been overwhelmed with everyday life matters and care for ‘strangers’, she forgets them. It’s not too late. Save money to go travelling with parents. Visit them more often in the hometown. And help them realize their wish list.

Protect her Room 19

Everyone has their own Room 19 – a happy place where they truly feel free and follow their dreams.

“You’re old enough to think about marriage and children?” Age matters? No. She has to agree with the line form the TV show, ‘Fight for My Way’ – “If growing up means you have to give up on your dream, then I will give up on growing up.” Who cares what others say and think about her. Just go her way.

Everyone is different. The only similarity is, we were born and will die when time comes. So why does she have to try to be someone’s version? Is that worth her time? Instead, go with what makes her heart beat faster.

Take care of her ‘star pocket’

That’s what the mom advises her daughter in ‘Because This Is My First Life’ TV series. Everyone experiences moments sparkling. When that happens, she notes them down in her ‘star pocket’ diary and reads and recalls them to help her though tough times.”

Her story may be relatable to someone out there. We have troubles in life. Let just cry when we want, get scared when it should be, be brave and smile often. They’re all different tastes that spice up our life. We just live once. Each and every moment we are spending is precious and never comes back. Please don’t forget… 

(The confession from G.. Thanks for sharing <3)